Last night at work (I work nightshift, which is 7PM-7AM), I was really struggling to be present. I honestly wanted to be anywhere else than where I was. In nursing, there is A LOT of drama, pettiness, cattiness, and politics, and last night was the perfect storm of all of those things. I was emotionally drained. I’m a pretty sensitive person, so when I’m surrounded by these sorts of things, it really starts to wear on me. I try not to get sucked in to it, but yesterday the whole 12 hour shift was filled with just straight up ridiculousness. None of this came from the patients–as you might expect in a psychiatric emergency room–but from problems with staff, administration, and policy about how things are supposed to run.
I often say that I wish I never would’ve taken my backpacking trip this spring and summer. Now, obviously I wouldn’t trade that trip or the experiences I had for anything, but now I know there is so, so, so much more to life than punching in and out of a time clock. Or bitching about how rude Suzy Q was in report. Or being slammed with 4 psychotic patients at once (I truly do love my patients, though). I know that there is a whole world out there that I’m dying to explore. Last night was tough, and I work again tonight in what will probably be the exact same situation. What I wouldn’t give to be in any of these places instead.
I’ve been really missing my former life lately.
Tell me something fun and exciting so I can live vicariously through you!